The Feisty German

This is what it's like learning to play Rugby.

2011-09-26T19:01:00.001-07:00

Okay, when we're out there, I want you to ignoreyour instincts. I'm gonna be your instincts.Koonu will be your instincts. Don't do anything. Don't try tosurf, don't do it. The less you do,the more you do. Let's see you popup. Pop it up. That's not it at all. Do less. Get down.Try less. Do it again. Pop up. No, too slow. Do less. Pop up. Pop up. You're doing too much.Do less. Pop down. Pop up now.

When you own pets you talk of crazy things.

2011-04-05T10:25:00.000-07:00

" Livers could look like testicles.""Think of all the dogs we can save from invasive ball searching nonsense?!""We can't get Tom Cruise involved. We both have couches we like."Thank you, Enny <3

I wish...

2011-02-17T12:26:00.000-08:00

I could drink wine at work.

Aerodynamic

2011-02-15T06:22:00.000-08:00

Shauna: LMAOI also have a cyst on my left boob. Bitch made it obvious cause now my tit hurts!!*in myMe: Fun fun, can you pop it?Shauna: O.O Its IN my boob.It just hurts now cause she kept pushing on it...then had ME push on it. OWMe: ...your point? ;);)What do they want to do about it?Shauna: O.O Youre creepy sometimes ya know?? LOLNothing. They said it's just a fluid filled cyst and they're

Super Bowl

2011-02-08T08:48:00.001-08:00

Spoon

2010-09-09T10:36:00.000-07:00

I like to cook with specific items when I make specific things.Ryan doesn't have wooden spoons at his house and I enjoy making rice krispies with wooden spoons.It's an OCD thing I'm pretty sure. Don't judge me.So while at Publix I grab this bamboo spatula that has rounded sides which are kind of spoon like. I get to Ryan's house, he and Matt are in the kitchen chit chatting like women as I unpack

Slip of the Tongue - Adriel Luis

2010-09-03T12:39:00.001-07:00

My glares burn through her.And I’m sure that such actions aren’t foreign to herbecause the essence of her beauty is, well, the essence of beauty.And in the presence of this higher being,the weakness of my masculinity kicks in,causing me to personify my wannabe big-baller, shot-caller,God’s gift to the female species with shiny suit wrapping rapping like,“Yo, what’s crackin shorty how you livin’

Road Tripping

2010-08-24T05:19:00.000-07:00

Digging through an old email account of mine I stumbled across a few emails to the ex-husband. Curious to see what we talked about I riffled through them and stumbled across a list of things I had learned about road tripping with Benjamin. Benjamin had been stationed at Fort Benning, Georgia; so I had the pleasure of moving him from Maine to his new home. After I had helped move him I got stuck

Chris Kohatsu

2010-08-12T08:57:00.001-07:00

Fellow readers (Mom, Kristen and the occasional passerby), allow me to introduce to you the beautiful, the talented: Chris Kohatsu!Backstage in Studio D, Chef Rick, Chris Kohatsu and Bill GreenChris is the wonderful woman who a few posts back took me with her to see Michael Bublé. *sighs dreamily* Aside from being an amazing friend with a quick wit and a roll-with-the-punches attitude, she is a

Because I'm a sucker for L-O-V-E

2010-07-06T11:20:00.000-07:00

Occasionally Kristen and I make the horrible mistake of stumbling across a website that sells the most adorable or geeky things; either way we both wind up spending money we wish we didn't but justify in the end so we don't regret it. This is one of those websites. BoldLoft.com makes you feel all warm and tingly inside, I can tell you on my next paycheck odds are at least one of these pillow case

Jousting.

2010-06-24T07:14:00.000-07:00

Kristen & me jousting on corgis.Why?Because I was bored.Also, because I can.

Trixi Hobbits

2010-04-17T12:54:00.000-07:00

Aaaaaaaaaand now I'm totally dating that guy I hadn't slept with yet in the previous post. Ryan dressed up (which was adorable) and took me out to dinner to Los Mariachis in Largo for dinner. I haven't had Mexican food since I went to California in 2000.It was delicious! The atmosphere was bright and friendly, we laughed, we talked; I refused to eat my beans because I didn't want to fart (so sexy

sigh

2010-04-15T08:44:00.000-07:00

Dani(11:42:16 AM): Stop planning my future children with a guy I haven't even slept with!Kristen (11:42:38 AM): lol fiiiiine

If you wanna be my lover...

2010-04-14T07:57:00.000-07:00

Dani (10:34:07 AM): Hey Kristen...Dani (10:36:05 AM): If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,Make it last forever friendship never ends,If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,Taking is too easy, but that's the way it iiiiiiiiisssss.Kristen (10:48:42 AM): What do you think about that now you know how I feel,Say you can handle my love are you for real,I won't be hasty, I'll

Anthony Bourdain Went to Milo

2010-04-13T06:23:00.000-07:00

Growing up I was a military brat, moving place to place and home to home. Upon retiring my dad decided to move us all to Milo, Maine because it would make my Mum happy, and everyone know if Mamma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. While I wasn't born in Maine I consider Milo my hometown; it's where I grew up, learned valuable life lessons, made friends that I'll have until I die, loved for the

The Game - You Just Lost.

2010-04-12T11:11:00.000-07:00

Me: Hey Matt! How much do you l-word me?Matt: that depends on what you're about to tell me I suppose.Me: Oh don't worry, I'm just telling you this, you just lost :)Matt: Lost what? I do not know that which you are referencing.Me: Everyone knows The Game. You though it, don't even play.Matt: Of which game do you speak of I am not currently engaged in any friendly bouts of competition to my

Pioneer Woman

2010-03-31T07:20:00.000-07:00

There is a woman after my own heart. Her name is Pioneer Woman.It's not because we're both cursed with the same fair complexion.And it's not because she has amazing red hair.You see it's actually a combination of many things, but the major contender is this. Her cookbook is the first "high profile" aka "famous" cookbook that I've opened, flipped through and then bought. I hardly ever buy

Michael Bublé

2010-03-14T03:44:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my wonderful, darling and all around amazing friend Chris I was able to see Michael Bublé in concert!! I will listen to almost any kind of music, but my tastes lean more towards Rock and Irish Punk. Between metal screams and quick tempo Irish diddies that pulse out of my speakers you'll hear Michael, "I've got the world on a string,I'm sitting on a rainbowGot that string around my

Never again.

2009-11-23T11:48:00.001-08:00

UGH OH MY GOD Uuuuuuuuuuuuuugag - Meatloaf + Red Bull = WORST. BURP. EVER.

Sometimes I wonder about her...

2009-09-04T07:38:00.000-07:00

Kristen (10:29:30 AM): Dani you didn't remind me about the nds D:Dani (10:31:37 AM): Kristen, you told me to remind you this weekendDani(10:31:44 AM): It's not the weekend yetKristen(10:31:45 AM): did i?Dani(10:31:47 AM): YesKristen(10:31:57 AM): I needed to bring it in today though, why would i tell you that :o Dani(10:32:15 AM): So you'd remember to bring it in on Monday??? Kristen10:32:20 AM):

Hier gehen wir wieder…

2009-07-22T07:57:00.000-07:00

Benjamin(10:44:08 AM): you're a manager?Dani(10:51:05 AM): Yes sirBenjamin(10:51:22 AM): at that photo copier place?Dani(10:56:07 AM): YupBenjamin(10:56:32 AM): oh god they have you in charge of other people!?Dani(10:56:46 AM): Shut up.Benjamin(10:57:19 AM): do they know what they've done?Dani(10:57:49 AM): -.-Benjamin(10:57:59 AM): those poor poor peopleBenjamin(10:58:02 AM): I feel their

I <3 the sober text messages...

2009-07-15T12:46:00.000-07:00

(315) I need to get laid soon so I can stop eye fucking the guys at Publix.(727) -_- Hi. I haven't been laid since November.(315) Ahahaha...I'm sorry that was uncalled for.

The Dr. Mario throw down pt. 1

2009-07-09T12:28:00.000-07:00

Dani I would indeed be the one that knows they can kick your ass at Dr. Mario :)Tanner at 4:04pm July 8Oh you know do you? That sounds like a challenge to me. I'm not scared, bring it on. Dani at 9:35pm July 8Sir it has been brought!! There will be one warm up round against Goodbread because his tears fuel the need to be #1.Tanner at 9:38pm July 8Pfft, I need no warm-up! You're just afraid, I

My Mum pops pills

2009-06-25T10:13:00.000-07:00

Tracy I'm up after a rough night. I only got up once, but it was sure hard to sleep. Back ached and brain would NOT shut up. Dawn at 7:22am June 25Don't you hate those kind of nights?! I slept like a baby. Love that Benadryl! hahaha Dani at 8:52am June 25My Mum pops pills because I cry :( Tracy at 9:06am June 25LOL...you two are so funny! Tracy at 9:06am June 25Most nights I get up about 4

The makings of a normal day

2009-06-23T07:54:00.000-07:00

Dani (9:17:03 AM): So instant oatmeal is a failKristen (9:17:12 AM): How so?Dani (9:17:19 AM): I can't get over the textureKristen (9:17:28 AM): LOL i think you just fail at making itDani (9:17:44 AM): D: I will smite you so help me zombie jesusKristen (9:18:55 AM): LOLDani (9:19:53 AM): It is either the texture of paper mache or the beginnings of cement*fast forward time*Dani (9:28:19 AM): ..

My love of grape juice is actually a survival tactic

2009-03-10T12:28:00.000-07:00

3:19pm - Danielwow I thought I didnt have a life3:21pm - Danielle??It doesn't log off when I close the window :P:P3:21pm - Danielvelociraptors?I am going to fight velociraptors?in what? the batmobile?3:23pm - DanielleNo I'm going to purchase a super soaker filled with concord grape juice to defend against velociraptors.3:24pm - Danielok?you been drinking?3:24pm - DanielleBecause they use to use

barfs oh...ohgod help me....

2009-03-09T12:05:00.000-07:00

So I have to point out how amazingly appetizing this looks, you know with the green beans straight out of the can, turkey and stuffing slathered in gravy right next to your healthy portion of Samoas Sweet Potatoes.Pardon me...I think I need to vomit.ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Don't get me wrong, when I'm in the mood I can go to town on sweets...but I know where to draw the line. Like deep fried candy bars

It's not weird until you really think about it...

2009-03-03T10:53:00.000-08:00

"There's a little something wrong with all of us to want to play with dead animals and fire." - Chef Nicole Martinelli on being a Chef.

Mount Vesuvius (in Italian Monte Vesuvio and in Latin Mons Vesuvius) is an active stratovolcano east of Naples, Italy.

2009-02-27T06:33:00.000-08:00

Dani (9:06:19 AM): Kristen. I want to throw an 80's prom theme party.Kristen (9:07:06 AM): lol that would be hilariousDani (9:08:35 AM): We'll do it this summer or somethingDani (9:08:48 AM): I need to see how this pizza bake off goes over first :/Dani (9:08:57 AM): Duuuude. So many people >.

Because I'm only 5-years-old sometimes.

2009-02-27T06:29:00.000-08:00

Kristen (9:02:01 AM): DANI i'm wearing SHORTS D:Dani (9:02:06 AM): WhAAAAAAAAAAAT>?!Kristen (9:02:26 AM): I know freaky huh? I look like i'm going to the zooDani (9:02:36 AM): LMAODani (9:02:38 AM): Prove itKristen (9:02:42 AM): no D:Dani (9:02:49 AM): DO IT >.

If I was Jesus.

2009-02-25T06:40:00.000-08:00

Ben (9:14:17 AM): dude someone busted narly ass over hereBen (9:14:18 AM): fuckDani (9:14:32 AM): Ewwwww, it wasn't me!Ben (9:15:27 AM): if it was you, and I smelt it over here, that'd be a world changing biological event, like even more so than the meteorDani (9:15:44 AM): It would finally prove that I am magic.Ben (9:16:59 AM): lolBen (9:17:08 AM): da vinci code conspiracies would aboundDani (

Why Vampires Don't Come To My Pizza Parties.

2009-02-24T10:24:00.000-08:00

[12:42] Kristen: snacks? we'll have shit tons of pizza D: [12:42] Dani: Maybe someone wants a cookie [12:42] Dani: Or a garlic knot [12:43] Kristen: mmmmmmm garlic [12:43] Kristen: also a bonus we will know which friends are vampires [12:44] Dani: SHA-ZAM [12:44] Dani: And I do believe someone's pizza has steak on it [12:44] Dani: Ha. [12:44] Dani: Haha [12:44] Dani: Steak. [12:44] Dani: Ha. [12:

Ever notice...

2009-02-23T16:00:00.000-08:00

How when you cut yourself working you can work for hours and not notice that you've cut yourself? But once you look down and see it that is when it starts to bleed and hurt. Ever notice the same thing applies to your period? You're fine and dandy aaaaalll day and you decide to use the restroom and BAM! You obviously started your period sometime that morning and now you finally realize it that's

Dearest GameStop Girl - Stolen from Matt McCue the Interwebz

2009-02-23T12:33:00.001-08:00

Dearest GameStop Girl, When I walked into your store that fateful Tuesday, I expected only to find a smattering of half-decent titles tucked back there amongst the used 360 games. Instead I found you, surrounded by a beam of light, halfway between Assassin's Creed and Call of Duty 3. Your gorgeous dark hair was radiant in contrast with the rainbow of colors on the deluxe Bioshock behind you. The

What if heaven smelled like Hippies?

2009-02-18T13:34:00.000-08:00

[16:11] Dani: Apparently the Dove Pro-Aging body wash and lotion work wonders for KP[16:11] Kristen: oh yeah? sweet :D[16:12] Dani: I know! I’ve had it forever.[16:12] Kristen: lush is at international plaza btw[16:12] Kristen: lol[16:12] Kristen: poor dani[16:12] Dani: Oh I remember seeing it! I never went in though[16:12] Kristen: i got some stuff there once and i loved it :D[16:12] Kristen: it

Jesus; sometimes I think you like me, like me.

2009-02-17T10:56:00.000-08:00

So I work at a copy center.I make copies.I bind books.I get to cut things.I get cut by things (mostly paper).People bring me projects and most of the time I'm truly interested in what they've done. You heard me, I read your work when you're not around. Sometimes it makes me giggle. I like that.But today a kind elderly lady calls me up, "Can I come over and drop off a project I need done?""

Two nuclear submarines collided...

2009-02-16T12:30:00.000-08:00

[13:33] Dani: LinkHow the fuck do you explain this one?[13:35] Kristen: a game of chicken gone wrong?[13:36] Dani: You know how it went down right?[13:37] Kristen: not really i didn’t read all of it[13:38] Dani: British “Back off, Froggies! This is mai ocean!” French “Juu can go, as they say in Amereeka, go fuck yourself. Aher ho!”British “Fish and chips! I think not! I will bear this course

God made us cousins for a reason.

2009-02-13T11:42:00.000-08:00